Because I am a footballer, so everything that happens to me is of national significance and far more importance than the events happening in the lives of ordinary mortals.

Sure, the last time I played football I struggled to hold my place in an under 13s team that did not win a game all season, but I still count myself as a footballer.

And if I ever get in trouble my mediocre playing prowess will be elevated to star status by the mass media that is seemingly obsessed by footballers and the things they do.

I recently saw an item that was the lead story in the nightly news, meaning it had been judged by someone in the news system to be the most jaw-dropping, earth shatteringly important event to have happened in the world in the previous 24 hours.

And it all revolved around a footballer who happened to knock over a pedestrian while driving his car at low speed during the day.

There was the hushed, almost breathless introduction about the footballer’s terrifying experience of watching as the pedestrian lay motionless on the road for a second of two, of his heart in the mouth moments, before the pedestrian actually managed to get up and try to walk away.

The words were repeated, and it all focused on the footballer’s ordeal, with the pedestrian given only scant mention or attention, other than the end of the report saying he was taken to hospital for a check over before being allowed to leave, and being given a ticket for jay-walking.

But why the heck was this news?

Admittedly it was in Victoria, where footballers are demi-gods whose urine samples are placed in crystal containers set atop altars built on players’ nostril hair and toenail clippings carefully collected over several years, but even for Victoria it seemed over the top.

However it seems this is the way we are going as society increasingly obsesses over footballers, sporting identities, and people given the somewhat dubious distinction of being dubbed celebrities by someone who obviously cares about this far more than I do.

The issue of caring is a big one here.

So often I look at news reports or television shows, and am left asking, “Who the heck cares?” after continued pointless promotion about boofhead footballers or brainless celebrities doing pretty much nothing at all.

Or even worse, the constant hand-wringing and underwear knotting that comes when footballers behave like boofheads, and celebrities really show they have little clue about the way the world works, or indeed such abstract issues as common courtesy.

I suppose the big question in all this is why the heck would we expect them to behave in any other way, and do we really care?

Would we care if it was any so-called normal person behaving in this way, rather than an actor, musician, footballer, or one of the latest crop of celebrities who have never demonstrated any real talent yet are still seemingly famous just for being famous?

And the real danger in this celebrity obsession is the number of young people who want to be just like the so-called celebrities who have never done anything or achieved anything, or even saved a life like a doctor or paramedic, battled to protect animal species being wiped out by poachers, or helped feed the poor like so many unsung volunteers in the world.